11 days to go....

well, one week from monday, i will be on my way to South Carolina for a short orientation before leaving for Romania. The team of interns will fly out together on that wednesday.

it is so close, but feels so far away right now. for two summers, i participated in beach project, which was ten weeks, but going to RO for ten weeks seems like a lifetime. all i can think about are the things i am missing--weddings, birthdays, etc.--what i need to focus on are the irreplaceable things i will get to do and see on this trip. i cannot wait to meet and love on those children.

i pulled out the suitcase and my new sleeping bag today. it is amazing that they can fit an entire sleeping bag in one of those small cylinder bags. i knew that it was going to be interesting whenever i was having a hard time even getting it out of the case! don't worry, though, i somehow just smushed it all in....not really sure how i did that. with the sleeping bag set in my suitcase, it does not leave much room for clothes and toiletries and the other things i think i'll need over ten weeks. and did i mention i have to pack in one 50 lb. suitcase and one carry on bag?! yeah....i'm glad it is summer and not winter clothes!

cleaned out some boxes of clothes that have been in my side-attic, and i am donating three garbage bags to goodwill!! i'm pretty impressed with myself about this, because i tend to just keep clothes for years without even taking the tags off. these clothes were from years of not knowing how to shop. but i definitely have grown in that area, so no more fashion blunders and wasted money!! all day today as i was throwing shirts and sweaters that no longer fit into a huge pile for goodwill, i kept thinking about how much i want to take these clothes to RO with me. i just want to give them to people that need them. i guess goodwill is essentially doing that for people here, though.

i haven't been up to too much since my last post. i've visited matt in Rome and enjoyed some great quality time with him. i've watched tv, gone to a wedding, hung out with Frisbee and Trace, and just enjoyed lots and lots of free time. yet still i find myself writing to do lists. i always will, i guess. :-)

i apologize for my absence in updating, but i haven't quite felt up to it. these two weeks, my heart and mind have become increasingly nervous about leaving for RO. as i mentioned earlier, i've been focused on what i'll be missing. i am praying (and beginning to get) a new attitude and mindset. this is going to be an incredible experience and i am shocked that i somehow had the courage to sign on. i'm not a risk-taker. especially when i am alone. but i'm doing something different and exploring who i am in Christ. that's the beauty of this trip for me--seeing the confidence the Lord is building in me as his servant. i guess you really do become a different person when you rely on Christ. He surpasses what we are capable of alone and completely surprises us.

with that i will leave you with the scripture my team is memorizing and meditating on for the summer:
Philippians 2:5-11
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking on the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name above every name, that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Thanks for reading this ultra-long post. :-)



Currently listening to: Gavin DeGraw, Goo Goo Dolls, Jack Johnson, Guster, Matt Nathanson, and Kathleen Edwards (all from the Jason Mraz radio station on Pandora) :-)

whew!

well, alot has changed since my last post. i became a college graduate! :-) i don't think it has fully hit me yet, but little things hit me. like the fact that i can't just wake up, walk across the hall with coffee and watch regis and kelly with frisbee. the fact that i can't walk next door to hang out with matt is sad too.
i'm going to visit matt today. should be fun grocery shopping, cooking, and just chillin' together.

ok, so here are some Romania updates:
--i am completely done with support-raising, yet money is still coming in. i've put some away for expenses leading up to my trip. for example, i need a sleeping bag that can fit in my suitcase. :-)
--on sunday, i am sharing my testimony and information about my trip at one of my friend's church. i'm excited about this, because i get to share about how wonderfully the Lord has provided and not feel like i am standing up there asking for money. because i'm not!
--facebook is an incredible thing....i've become friends with several of the summer interns i'll be living and serving with. it's so cool that we can already communicate before we travel overseas together. i've come to find out that several of the interns going have already served with Livada before this summer. this both makes me nervous and puts me at ease at the same time. is it silly that i just hope that i fit in?
--to be honest, i am getting more and more nervous each day about leaving. i'm feeling anxious that i will not have enough love and patience to give to these children. but what the Lord keeps showing me is that He will do these things through me. this is a great revelation for me, because i've felt so inadequate, fearing that i will come up short. the truth is, i will if i rely on just myself. but the Lord's love does not run dry, but is continually sweet and fulfilling. that is how i will survive.
--also, another thing i've been getting nervous about is ridiculous. i'm nervous that i will be uncomfortable there. that i won't be able to shower as much as i want or sleep as comfortably as i want. the truth is, i just need to become ok with the fact that this summer is not about me being comfortable. it's actually kind of embarrassing to admit this silly and very materialistic fear i have here on the wide web, but i want to document and show all of you the entire journey my mind and heart are going through now, before this trip begins.
--i got the bulletin/newsletter thing from my childhood church in the mail yesterday. they printed a message to the church about my trip. this was cool to see how this church that i haven't attended since i was in 5th grade still loves and cares for me. so hello to my Glennville family!



i think that is all for now. i'm going to spend a little time preparing for what i will say on sunday. much love to all of you. :-)
bek


currently listening to: pandora radio (love it!), which is playing death cab for cutie (i've been a little obsessive lately)

no more stress...right?

well, i am done with school. not officially yet, we've still got to do the whole diploma, tassel, pomp and circumstance thing, but as of yesterday about 5:30, I was done with Berry schoolwork.
i'm pretty pumped about this, but it has not fully hit me yet. maybe when i start packing up things, it will hit me like a freight train.

money keeps rolling in for support. from people i would never even expect. i just want to thank all of you readers....aka trace, frisbee, mom and dad (not really sure who else reads this).....thanks to each of you for praying and helping me trust the Lord to bring the money. i've heard people say that raising support was such a blessing for them and I never believed them until now. of course, I think this is something you have to experience yourself to really appreciate it. that's how it was for me, at least.

well, i'm going to go do nothing because i can. :-)



currently listening to: the ocean sounds my dishwasher makes.